Nothing beats having some time alone with a good book. Just having randoms thoughts and mixed feelings and thought i should blog it down.


Love my sister, both brothers to bits... And making peace now with some of my worries i had before...


Life is still good after all, if you want it to be.

What a terrible new year experience i had. Suppose to be a happy new year after a good meal with friends and with rounds of games and drinks. Didn't expected to woke up in the middle of the night and see that my boyfriend Wayne is having a fight with his own brother. With all my friends pulling them apart, and him saying all nonsense about getting revenge and not scared of death??


I feel very sick of it. After a long day of cooking and washing and i have to clean up after the fight and vomit until early morning.


What really turns me off is how scary it is he can be. He can really turn into another person when he drinks. I can't imagine if i marry him and i will face all his abusive treatment if he continues to drink in the future. Who knows whether he will hit me or our kids in the future.. I am feeling very scared and insecure. :(


I am feeling very lost about my future and about everything...