My mum sure have her own ways to console people. Seeing how down i am now she told me this, "What's wrong with you? Aiyah, relationship this thing cannot force one.. I read that this year your love luck not good ar." Thanks mum.. -_-"


I'm not sure to go dblo tomorrow anot? After put in so much effort of getting 'him' out of my life, tomorrow may have a high chance of seeing there. Not sure if i want to take the risk, of how i will react when i see him. Staying at home also dwell on it, and my friends encourage me to go out and have fun. Oh well, i shall see how i feel again.


Was packing some of my stuffs earlier and found this bag of stuffs. Its my memories of Jasper. There's my diary, photos with him, letters, cards, bears, reciepts, chocolate boxes, paper stars, ribbons.. Almost everything he gave me. At that moment, i realised that this guy who is making me sad now doesn't deserves it. He doesn't derserves me to be upset, hurt and sad for him. I can see Jasper patience towards me and there's always surprises, and of cos lots of tender loving care. He really put in alot of efforts to make me happy and feel loved all the while. I think if i got to know him now, he will be happier and we will be together still. Maybe its unfair to compare Paul with Jasper in the first place. Cos i'm with Jasper for a much much longer time. But the same thing happened to me and Jasper before at the initial stage of the relationship. Its my doubts and insecurities, but what he have done is assure me and be patient with me.


I will blog again more on what Jasper have done, it will serves as reminder that i derserves better, but not dwelling on the past...